Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum

Author's note:

Perhaps the most noteworthy tourist attraction in London, I would highly recommend a visit to Madam Tussauds simply because it provides the newly-arrived with an overview of history and historical characters without resorting to a lot of hard work. Many of the more famous (or infamous) kings and queens are represented here and, if all else fails, it sets a few individuals in the mind's eye for future reference. Over two million people from all around the world visit the exhibition annually.

Laura and Gail arrived in time to join a small queue just outside the main entrance. Once inside Gail purchased a full colour booklet which described the history of the museum, its layout, as well as photographs of many of the famous and infamous individuals displayed within. As they slowly climbed the left-hand stairway which curved upwards to the ticket booth above, Gail flipped through the pages, her excitement mounting. Suddenly, she stopped, stared then passed the book to Laura.

"Guess who's here?" Gail whispered as she nodded towards the booklet. Under the chapter entitled the Grand Hall was a picture of King Richard III, dressed in the velvet and fur typical of the age, fingering his rings as shown in the now famous portrait. "I wonder if Henry VII is here too? Interesting," Gail mused, "if the two of them should be shown, side by side."

"Hum," Laura allowed, eyebrows raised. "Richard the Lionheart, King Charles I, Oliver Cromwell. Now that would be an interesting tableau - Charles and Oliver together."

The booklet was a veritable goldmine of information including a British Royal Family Tree which, if studied, would help the densest tourist to unravel the more obvious names from the web of history. The six wives of Henry VIII! Not only a full-size rendering but also a brief description of each lady. Better and better.

Tickets purchased, they were promptly escorted to an elevator which took them to the top floor. From there they began their downwards spiral to the Chamber of Horrors in the basement. The first section was entitled Garden Party. Set in the grounds of an English country house, Laura and Gail came face to face with many contemporary celebrities from the world of sport, entertainment and television. Gail had her picture taken with a waxen Arnold Schwarzenegger. If she liked it, the young man said, it could be purchased at the booth near the exit. Unlike many other exhibits Tussaud's activily encouraged private photography so Gail eagerly posed beside such notable individuals as musician and actor Dudley Moore (playing the panio), Bob Hoskin (dressed in the costume he wore for the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), and renowned tennis champion Boris Becker. She was having a fine time!

They continued through to the room called "200 Years", pausing on the way to admire the oldest figure on display. A rendering of Comtesse Marie Jean du Barry (1741-73), mistress of Louis XV. Eventually guillotined during the French Revolution, she is portrayed asleep on a couch, one arm flung up, her tiny feet just protruding from beneath her pale pink taffeta gown. So life-like was she that neither Laura nor Gail were surprised when her chest rose and fell, as if she were breathing. This room was dedicated to the history of Madame Tussaud as well as those individuals past and present who have made the name of Madame Tussaud synonymous with the best in three-dimensional portraiture. Here Laura and Gail were able to inspect the death masks from which the earliest works drew their authenticity as well as contemporary techniques involving sculptors who model from life, taking many measurements and photographs. At one time, only the head, the face was important but now every detail is noted to ensure the most accurate figure possible.

Superstars and Legends. Laura and Gail walked through and admired such notables at Cher, Michael Jackson, Sir Anthony Hopkins (in evening clothes thankfully), Timothy Dalton (as James Bond), Michael Caine, Eddie Murphy, Harrison Ford (as Indiana Jones) to name but a few. Legends came next. Chaplin, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Marlon Brando, James Dean, Humphrey Bogart, his signature cigarette casually held in his right hand. Gail and Laura wandered along taking each in turn, pausing to admire and comment regarding the skill involved, the clothes, the jewellry and naturally the attention to the smallest detail. The brilliant lighting system showed each individual to perfection and the best was yet to come as they proceeded to the next level - the Grand Hall.

A small crowd blocked their way on the right side as they entered so they automatically turned to the left and came face to face with Edward, the Black Prince, eldest son of King Edward III.

"Hello Eddie, old thing." Laura drew closer to examine his costume of chain mail and light armour. His short, cropped beard was of a reddish colour, his eyes pale blue; typical Plantagenet. "Ed should have been king after his father but died before he got the chance."

"Says here," Gail added, reading from the Guidebook, "he was called the Black Prince because he always wore black armour into battle. He beat the French at Poitiers in 1356 and, oh, oh led a group of mercenary soldiers called the Free Companies - rape, pillage, plunder."

"Probably just trying to keep busy while he waited for his father to die," Laura shrugged. "You know, for a long time he was regarded as a model of chivalry but in reality he was bad-tempered, foul-mouthed and cruel so maybe it was for the best when he died of dysentery - age forty-five I think - and missed out on becoming king although his son did, as Richard II."

"Here's William the Conqueror," Gail called out.

"Old Motte & Bailey himself." Laura chuckled as she turned. "Ah, Richard the One, Coeur-de-Lion". She moved forward rapidly to stand before the legendary hero.

Richard the Lionheart looked suitably impressive as one of the foremost leaders of the Third Crusade in 1190. Depicted in the act of drawing his sword, he looked every inch the warrior king. As Gail joined her, Laura remarked, "Do you know that Richard here hardly spent any time in England, never learned the language and ultimately died and was buried in France. The most English of English kings couldn't have cared less for the country while his brother John at least stayed around and tried to make the best of the situation when he eventually did claim the throne, and yet history - and Robin Hood Legend - has branded John as 'Mr. Not-So-Nice' which he probably deserved since he did have his nephew murdered, for starters. Another nasty uncle and, in general was an oppressive monarch.

"Truth is though that the Lionheart was a blood thirsty bastard who practically bankrupt England first with the cost of the Crusade and then to pay a ransom to the Duke of Austria for his release after fifteen months imprisonment. The ransom - 66,000 pounds would equate today to roughly 100 million pounds! He wasn't worth it! It is said," Laura whispered, "that he preferred the company of his men in the field to women, home, hearth and making an heir to rule after him."

"You're not suggesting that he was ...."

"Exactly." Laura interrupted, casting Gail a telling glance before moving away to admire the excellent tableau depicting Henry VIII and his six wives.

"Now, old Henry here did nothing but worry about his succession to the point where he had a succession of wives, none of whom succeeded in keeping the House of Tudor aloft for long." Laura chuckled wickedly. "You know, although he was a Tudor of course, Henry looks more Plantagenet - tall, fair like his Grandfather Edward IV. Elizabeth I, she too was fair. Not a hint of the dark Welsh blood which backed the Tudor ascendancy to the throne. Interesting."

The display was truly magnificent as befitting such a well known king. Henry stood majestically, legs set well apart, hands on hips amid his wives; three on each side, four sitting, two standing. A detailed legend identified each wife, her history, length of reign and ultimate fate. Judging from the number of visitors clustered about, this was an extremely popular display. The costumes were not only beautiful but carefully researched to ensure complete authenticity including the use of materials then available - silk, velvet and, what is now call antique lace.

As Laura studied the display her eyes were drawn to a small figure, in profile and at a distance almost hidden behind Henry VIII. Richard. She felt herself being drawn to him, and yet inexplicably, she felt afraid.

"Good, you found him," Gail said as readied her camera. "Come on, get close and I'll take your picture."

"No thanks," Laura muttered as she drew back, all the while studying his face, his eyes.

Next to Richard stood Henry Tudor.

"Excellent!" Gail exclaimed as she proceeded to take several shots of the two of them together although in life they remained bitter enemies. "Hey, what's the matter with you? Your face looks as tragic as his." Gail nodded towards Richard.

"Sorry, just thinking." Laura sighed. "His eyes are dark, a deep grey colour I think."

"Oh, here he is Dave." Laura and Gail caught sight of a young couple as they swept around them coming to rest within inches of the display. "This is the king Helen mentioned. Remember? The one who murdered his nephews to gain the throne?" Dave, the long suffering husband, nodded abstractly. "Doesn't look like a murderer to me but then Helen said that she didn't think he killed anyone but was actually a very nice man."

"From what I have read of British history," huffed Dave, "none of them were very nice."

"Yeah, well, maybe you're right. Come on, take a picture for Helen. Oh look! That MUST be Henry VIII!"

Dave dutifully took the picture then hurried after his wife, allowing Laura one last look into that sad, tragic face before she too turned away.

The Grand Hall contained not only a representative sample of British royalty but also famous religious leaders, statesmen, soldiers, Presidents and Prime Ministers, as well as renowned singers, painters and politicians from around the world. The room was immense, the various displays excellent, so it took Laura and Gail a considerable length of time to work their way through.

"That was fantastic!" Gail gushed. "I'm glad we came. Now, where is the Chamber of Horrors?" She consulted the guidebook. "Of course, in the basement. Let's go." Full of enthusiasm yet, Gail led the way, ignoring the sign which allowed the squeamish to bypass this particular section.

"Does Wayne know he's married to a ghoul?" Laura asked as she caught up to Gail.

"Oh sure," Gail shrugged and laughed, "Halloween is his favourite time of year."

"I bet!"

Not even Gail however was prepared for Madame Tussaud's macabre collection of relics from the French Revolution, including the actual blade that beheaded Marie Antoinette and the death mask of her husband Louis XVI. They were treated to a reinactment of the execution of Gary Gilmore by firing squad in 1977 and the horrific image of Catherine Eddowes, one of Jack the Ripper's victims, lying in a pool of blood in a reconstruction of one of the narrow streets he stalked. By the time they had viewed such imfamous murders as Dr. Crippen, John Cristie, John Haigh, Dennis Nilsen, Neville Heath, George Smith and finally Charles Manson and his 'family', Gail had had quite enough thank you!

Then, to both their delight, they were ushered into a miniature replica of a London taxi on a ride called The Spirit of London. Covering a period of more than 400 years of London's history, from Queen Elizabeth I to the present day, over seventy figures are displayed, many of which are animated. In a bewildering procession of sight, sound and even smell, Laura and Gail moved through the court of Queen Elizabeth, passed Shakespeare busy penning Hamlet, the plague, the Great Fire of London in 1666, the rebuilding of the dome of St. Paul's cathedral, Sir Christopher Wren, Admiral Lord Nelson, the Industrial Revolution, even Queen Victoria in driving goggles holding a tea cup made by Royal Albert (the pottery named after her husband), characters from the works of Charles Dickens, the London Blitz, the Swinging London of the 60's, Twiggy, and finally modern London, a fantastic kaleidoscope of colour and sound. They both enjoyed it so much that they risked another walk through the Chamber of Horrors to ride it again!

Their time in the gift shop was cut short with the announcement that the exhibit would be closing in fifteen minutes - at 5:30. Gail quickly purchased her picture with Arnold and together they exited undoubtedly the finest exhibit of its type to be found anywhere in the world.